Breaking News: Sperm Sprayer Out

Mike Sperm Sprayer has today been placed on gardening leave to attend a course of rehabilitation at the Sex Addiction clinic in Derby Road. His offence of 'firing indescriminately into a crowd of women' was deemed serious enough for sanctions to be imposed. Giggsy will be missed by his team mates who will proceed on their quest without him. His place in the Village line up will be taken tonight by Seasick Steve, freshly returned from Glastonbury and over his injury from fielding a ball with his arse, last week. Statement Ends. A information in this statement covered by Super Injunction.