.... of Shite....
There is one player remaining from the team that played in the first ever match in 1993 and that’s me.... I've seen it all - apart from that time I got a ball on the head and ended up in hospital and missed the piss up. So what’s changed…. Well, we were a rag tag shower of shit in 1993 and now we’re a highly trained, well drilled, well oiled killing machine who win cricket matches without trying.
If we look at what some of the present squad were doing in 1993 – well…
Jonjo – In 1993 the world was a better place because he hadn’t been born yet
Luke – twinkle in Dad’s eye, not born yet
Tommy Drop – not born yet but still prone to tantrums.
Mackem Rob – Only 10 but already a Gobby Northern Shite. Had migrated South as far as Birmingham in order to find a school he hadn’t yet been expelled from. Hated Jonjo even though he hadn’t been born yet.
Glen the Skip – A mere 24, thin, still using the Graeme Hick bat he uses now. Hadn’t decided at that point that he was no good at this game – that came later.
Spaul – Couldn’t run then or since. Had already perfected the Tavare stance and couldn’t go five minutes when off the cricket field with striking the ‘forward defensive’ pose.
Geoff – Still had to pay to get on a bus, no need for Baselayer clothing or hair thickening products. Pace bowler, so he says.
Mick the Teeth – had his full complement of 6 teeth then which is 3 more than he’s got now and he hadn’t run out of injury excuses at this point. Could sometimes bowl at pace approaching 40 mph.
Guru – Was still a professional Morris Dancer and couldn’t play the leg glance but could talk about it endlessly – no change really exceot that he’s now a semi-pro Morris Dancer.
Mike the Sprayer – already Spraying but no females involved in 1993. Did his spraying on solo missions.
Kevmac – bowled off of his legendary 3 step walk-up in 1993. Cut down later due to batsman injury count.
Jeweller – bald 7 year old. Had already starred in Twins and Romancing the Stone.
Colin the Big Dog – had not fully committed to a life of beer and pies but was going down that road. Already a cricket legend as he’d managed to represent 75% of cricket clubs in Southampton area.
Nigel – Pre-cynicism, Nigel was an idealistic lawyer who was still out to change the world and thought that he could.
Seasick Steve – Exactly the same as now, may be a Time Lord. Was about to create Jonjo.
Anyhow… 20 years of West End Saints. Look out for special souvenir t-shirts, ties, Jonjo wigs and Geoff branded Undergarments, soon to be available from the Club Shop.
